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[April 22, 2007 @ 11:14pm]
Luke and I have been together longer than anyone I know (apart from parents and super-old people)... I'm well aware that he is something special and there's no question that I'm "totally, majorly, butt-crazy" in love with him.

And yet there still come occasions when he just *amazes* me.
With his jokes
and his patience
and his smile
and enthusiasm
and nerdiness
and kindness
and friendship
and love for me.

Here is the guy that I want to be with forever... my best friend, my partner in crime, my beloved.
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[March 11, 2007 @ 11:18pm]
JEFFREY SCOTT BUCKLEY
MATTHEW JAMES BELLAMY
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[March 07, 2007 @ 10:31pm]
It has been a while and I forget how to do this... updatey thing.

I went to Singapore, Bali and Central Java this Summer with my family and Luke. Too much to write... so we'll just cut it short to, oh, say: awesome. And we're back to uni and work and everything now. Good ol' routine.

In other news:
# Matthew Bellamy has stolen Jeff Buckley's spot in my latest obsession (Muse concert back in Jan was AMAZING by the way)...
# and my new passion is butterfly photography.
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I'll keep on lookin for that lovin' feelin! [January 17, 2007 @ 9:06pm]
After having no success on Monday, and having missed it altogether on Tuesday, Luke and I went to the Sydney Observatory at The Rocks yesterday, to try to get a better chance at seeing the comet.
We saw it through the superhuge telescope in the North Dome
We saw it through the smaller telescope too
We saw it through binoculars out on the grounds.
But best of all, we could see it clearly with our own two eyes... four eyes?

And after that we went on the Night Tour and saw some nifty 3D-glasses-required mini movie things, and we saw some stars and constellations through the revolving top of the North Dome and we went to the planetarium and then went outside to see the stars we just saw in the planetarium and we got maps of the night sky and basically I had a totally nerdariffic time.

And after that, us being at The Rocks and everything, we went to Pancakes. We had breakfast at 11pm (Eggs bennedict, and ham, and home-made (read: falling apart) hash brown, extra bacon, and a buttermilk pancake) and then we had dessert (two cream-cheese-filled crepes with vanialla ice cream, all drizzled with strawberry sauce). And we had hideously green lime spider, and yummy fresh strawberry smoothie.

And it's hot today, huh.

Summer rocks.
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Walking right out into a brand new day, insane and rising in my own weird way [January 08, 2007 @ 12:53pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

Ah Happy New Year and all that jazz, a week late.

Things with me are ok I guess. Not terrible, but not 100% great. Not yet. But definitely, definitely on the up side. On Saturday night Luke and I had the best date. It was just fun. And it was just us. And it was just great. We had yummy okonomiyaki and a sweet crepe of banana, whipped cream, cookies'n'cream ice cream, wafer sticks and chocolate sauce... and a blueberry cheesecake gelato shake. LOVE!!  And then we saw a movie (Babel - which was touchingly sad but very beautiful) and went ice skating. All that and the driving with the windows down, screaming to Rage Against The Machine with my favouritest person, it was pretty much an A+ night out. The best fun I've had in a while.

But sometimes, it's still.. going through the motion. Work. And tutoring little kids. And watching DVDs. And trying for the 7th time to clean up my little room. Apart from my loving family and Luke there still hasn't been much inspiration in my world... well, except for Jeff Buckley who is a beautiful thing. I am trying to learn a couple of his songs. He loves to make with the fancy chords though. And I'm having the same problems as when I first tried to learn guitar back in year 7 - my hands are only little!!

Aside from that, I'm just really looking forward to my trip to Indonesia. It will be good to get back there, back to my roots and stuff and hopefully I'll be able to get over my post-teen-angst or whatever silly issues I seem to be having, get my feet back on solid foundation of some kind.

That is the hope, kids. I hope you're all well.

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it's never easy [December 27, 2006 @ 12:34am]
True love is really painful and I do not wish it on anyone.

Would it impact on your life if Luke and I broke up?
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He's the tear that hangs inside my soul forever [December 11, 2006 @ 8:21am]
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pooacrrstsintin [November 13, 2006 @ 1:32am]
Ins’t it rlealy cool that no mtaetr how I tpye wrdos (as lnog as the frsit and lsat lretets are in the rhigt sopt) you can still raed it? Psgyhlcooy rlues! Ecpext sudiyntg for it wcihh is waht I’m aidovnig!
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Tomfoolery [November 07, 2006 @ 1:32pm]
I've been studying really well since Friday night. But tonight, when I was down to my last and most boring two topics, I couldn't do anything. Instead, I listened to Sao Paulo Rain and decided I love Tom McRae. His music.. at least the four songs that I've heard anyway, is beautiful. I bought his debut CD on eBay jsut now, impulsively, just because. I hope to get it by next week after exams.
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Another Hollywood Heartbreak [October 31, 2006 @ 6:16am]
Aw, Reese and Ryan broke up. It sucks coz they were so cute together and looked like they'd work out (unlike say Brad and Jen who my brother and I predicted would last two years. Hey, they lasted four, good on them). On the other hand, it means he's single again, girls =P

Oh and Happy Halloween my American friends.
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Help! I need somebody! Not just anybody! Help! You know I need someone... [October 25, 2006 @ 11:46pm]
Okay. Here's to all you beautiful creative people.
I have to write a postmodern love story.
I need ideas.
Anything would be greatly appreciated.
A character.
A line.
A setting.
A piece of dialogue.
A plot.
Any thought at all.
Be my muse, hmm?


*Note: by submitting ideas you agree not to sue me for copyright infringements if your idea is used.
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<3 [October 15, 2006 @ 11:12pm]
Ok this may be very slow of me, but is Matt Bellamy HOT OR WHAT!?!?!?!?
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I just did an assessment due Friday.. what do you mean I have to do one for Monday!? [October 14, 2006 @ 7:13am]
Yeah. I'm pretty sure I'm going to do my last year of Arts part time over two years. I am looking forward to this. I have been so busy the past two months trying to juggle two jobs, church commitments, boyfriend, full time uni, family stuff etc etc. I haven't even been wasting any time. At least not recently. All I do is uni and work and sleep.

Basically I just want more time
so I can keep my room clean,
so I can have 100%-guilt-free seeing Luke hours,
so I can have QT with God everyday and not just when I remember and have 5 minutes,
so I can exercise,
so I can actually do readings for uni,
so I can hand in assessments on time,
so I can get better marks in general,
so I can spend time with my family,
so I can do chores at home,
so I can watch DVDs,
so I can cook,
so I can write like I used to,
so I can spend time with friends,
so I can be nice to or help people,
and
so I can stay SANE.

And now I'm going to dinner with friends and to see Little Miss Sunshine. Have a good one ok =)
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Last time I saw you, we had just split in two [October 10, 2006 @ 1:23pm]
So I caught up to all my assessments just the other day and now I realise there's no break. I've got a Psych report due Friday the 13th, another one (how evil of the Psych people!) due Monday the 16th and then two majorly hard and important English take home exams due in Stuvac (yes that means that I won't get to study for my exams in Stuvac) on the 30th and then Nov 2nd, and then two Psych exams, first on the 9th and then on the 14th. Which means pretty much one month from the 13th to the 14th, with 6 assessments (collectively worth 240%) due. Whoa!! That is more than half the entire semester's load!

It's not too bad though, one of the Psych reports is really interesting and the Reading Sexuality texts that I can write on are really good. Also, the options in the Postmodern assessment include short stories, photo essays and blogs. I've not come across this type of 'fun' assessment since high school so it's really exciting. Or at least I WOULD be really excited, if it weren't for the lack of time I have to work on these creative projects, which deserve weeks and weeks but which I can only spend oh about 8 days doing, if that.

By the way, you should all watch Hedwig and the Angry Inch. It's one of my Postmodern texts and it's reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaally good. And Boys Don't Cry, which is one of my Reading Sexuality texts and also reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaally good. Incidentally, they are both about transvestites. Hmm.

Anyway, I better get to it. Are you well? I'll leave you with lyrics from one of the songs from Hedwig.


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Luke, light of my life... [October 05, 2006 @ 10:54am]

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interesting things you can learn from Psych [and TV] [October 03, 2006 @ 8:20pm]

Just before I start my readings for my latest upcoming Psych report, I thought I would take a minute to note just one interesting thing I have learnt from each of my two Psychology units at uni this year.

From Personality Psych, I learnt: that one of the strongest evidences for the Activation-Synthesis hypothesis (that the brain generates a dream story by combining motor activation with other elements [as opposed to Freud's dream theory {where repressed wishes are made conscious through codes in dreams}]) is REM Sleep Behaviour Disorder.  It basically refers to the absence of motor inhibition during REM sleep.  Patients of this disorder have narrated experiences where they have been woken up by their partner and found that they had in fact gotten out of bed in their sleep. And "in every one of the many cases reported, the subjective dream experience has been isomorphic with the actual physical movement" (McCarley, 1998, p. 129). 

From Social Psych, I learnt: that babies need sufficient visual stimulation to properly develop.  Children who have spent their first few years in Romanian orphanages where there were just blank white walls and the kids didn't have many toys were often cross eyed (same with other stuff, as in lacking in walking skills / walking was awkward if they were just left in a crib and didn't crawl around, coz those muscles weren't used). Another example of when this happened was in the 1980s when people tried to be posh and keep their nurseries white to match the rest of their houses - their kids ended up not getting enough visual stimulation and being cross eyed. So don't be posh... your kids need COLOUR AND SPINNING THINGS AND FUN FUN TOYS!

Oh and perhaps most interesting of all, From That 70s Show (I forget the episode, but it's in Season 2 and Eric and his sister were just yelling insults and stuff at each other when Eric revealed that Laurie was born with a tail) I learnt: that humans can be born with a tail. Wikipedia says: "Human embryos have a tail that measures about one-sixth of the size of the embryo itself. As the embryo develops into a fetus, the tail is absorbed by the growing body. The developmental tail is thus a human vestigial structure. Infrequently, a child is born with a "soft tail", which contains no vertebrae, but only blood vessels, muscles, and nerves. Modern procedures allow doctors to eliminate the tail at delivery. The longest human tail on record belonged to a twelve-year-old boy living in what was then French Indochina, which measured nine inches (229 mm)." SOME PEOPLE ARE BORN WITH A TAIL!

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Paris tu protest Paris que je te quitte! [September 26, 2006 @ 6:41pm]
Maintenant, je ne parle pas le français comme je le parle à l'école.  J'ai oublié mon français parce que je ne l'étudie pas à l'université, et je le manque. Je dois le pratiquer toujours si je veux rester un francophile. Et... bien sûr, je dois aller en France (à Paris, à Lyon, à Nice, à Bordeaux, à Marseille, à Cannes, à Grenoble, à Toulouse, à Nantes, ....).  Bientôt!
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a prayer for the wild at heart kept in cages [September 19, 2006 @ 10:56pm]

I have this condition right (not a psychological condition, by the way - a health condition), and I have been on medication for four months.

The drugs are driving me insane.

I am incredibly happy one moment and then some stupid little thing would get to me and I'd be breaking down into tears.

Together with my shoebox of a room that chokes me, and having to spend the last oh-so-sunny days of my teenagehood writing essays, I am just losing it.

I am tired of feeling depressed insecure negative bad tired paranoid hatefultowardsmyself crazy inadequate stupid lonely empty sick

Take it away

Make it stop

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I, four-letter word [September 18, 2006 @ 9:46pm]
I want to play
I need to spring-clean my room
I hate last minute efforts
I love Spring!
I won't be getting much sleep this week
I will be 20 this Sunday
I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life
I have really nice hair
I must persevere
I miss Luke
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sacre bleu! [September 17, 2006 @ 5:57pm]

Fourteen days ago I wrote "But knowing me, I'll probably start the monday one on the weekend and spend 2 days each doing the other two."  Wow! I know me! I stayed home on Friday and didn't do much except the Psych quiz and coming up with a brand new postmodern poem. I'm really happy that I'm writing things again, after so long. But not much on the esssay. I went to church on Friday night with Luke and we finished 40 Days of Purpose. It was a good series which made me think a lot about my position now and finding out the meaning of life is a good way to put you in your place and make you think about what you should be doing.  And on Saturday morning Luke and I headed out to get me a new power supply since my computer died. He's such a good fixer-upper <3. It took him like four minutes. And then he went home and I wasted more time playing games. But then at least I started the essay last night. Taking notes and thinking. No writing has been done yet. It is difficult. My mother expressed her surprise at this. It didn't help me at all and I slept for an hour in response. I am horrible.  I can't remember the last assignment that I DIDN'T leave to the last night. But this is the system, isn't it.

*****

I slept in shorts and a shirt last night. It was lovely and I slept well. And I want to finish essays so I can enjoy the weather - wind in my hair, sun on my skin. And smile.

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